I’m going to write this from my heart.

In the beginning of 2012 my grandmother passed away. She was cremated and my father handmade her urn. My grandfather had dementia and we thought it best to keep him in his home. It was familiar to him and was a big adjustment already with my grandmother not being around. We celebrated Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, and his birthday as we always had, in their house. Each of us, at some point during those visits, would go and visit with that handmade urn. It was kept in what my grandmother called her “playroom.” This room held all her favorite old toys and pictures. While it could be said that she was kept in the playroom because she loved it, the truth is, it just didn’t feel good. There was a big negative vibe looking at the urn. I wanted to love it because I loved her but plain and simple, I didn’t like it. No one did and that’s why it was outside in a fancy she-shed.

There was more loss in 2012 when both of my Italian Greyhounds passed away within two weeks of each other. Joey and Ruefuss Davis were my very special dogs. They had been a rock for me during the hardest of times. I had never had a dog cremated before. I was so sad and lost. The veterinarian called when it was time for me to pick up Joey’s ashes. Then, two weeks later, I picked up Ruefuss. Their ashes were in plastic boxes and I didn’t like looking at them. Again, I loved my dogs with everything in me. What do I do with their ashes? Put them in the backyard? What if I move? The boxes ended up in the closet after a couple of years and there they stayed until 2020.

2020 is when Ashes to Light was born. During the pandemic I started painting daily. It was therapeutic for me and I needed to create some beauty where all seemed to be so dark. A dear friend of mine was highly supportive of my work and brought me a gift that he thought I would enjoy. It was azurite pigment. He wanted me to try and make paint with it. The painting was remarkable and the first person that saw it bought it on the spot. I bought more pigments and sold more paintings. People thought my artwork was fascinating, and also really liked the metaphysical properties of having different pigments in their painting. Maybe you’ve caught onto where I’m going with this. I use the ashes as pigment. Don’t get me wrong. Ashes are nothing like crushed stone. The first paintings that I did, maybe six, didn’t work out. I figured that my dogs loved me so much, they would be more than willing to dedicate some of their ash to me changing my life, and in the long run, the lives of others who are grieving. I had to figure out exactly the right way to make everlasting paint with these ashes. My dogs, Joey, Ruefuss, and Chopper, are now in my living room with me. They are not in a box that makes me sad, but are safe in my artwork that I’ve created. I smile at them every single day and they will be with me no matter where I live.

We spread my grandmother’s ashes before I came up with Ashes to Light. I wish she was in my living room, too. I also wish my mom had her mom with her in her home. I know how much my mom misses her mom.

Now I’m rambling. I have so much to say about how my paintings have brought comfort to those in grief.

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